When I rented this movie and watched the trailer, I initially thought it would be something far different then it was. I thought I was going to watch a movie about a guy who gets lured into the christian right (a cult section or something). After all, what type of assumption is someone suppose to make after reading articles about the real man who was a gay activists and one day decides he no longer identifies as gay and not only that but a heterosexual man. Instead I got a movie about a man journey into finding god.
I can only see this movie's summary as a "click-bait" thread or a click-bait movie. There is no doubt in my mind that such a movie would have never seen production if it was about a straight man, leaving his girlfriend and their liberal friends and getting a new girlfriend and joining "God"/becoming a Republican. The story would be boring, and for me the story of gay man doing the same is just as boring. The fact that the man identified as gay and was an activists did not make it any better. It just drew people in with false beliefs about what the movie was about. I feel a bit cheated to be honest. I want my 6.99 rental fee back.
The movie follows a man who has been working for a gay magazine. He is in a long term relationship with a man. They invite another man into their relationship and home. It follows them up until the main character starts getting heart palpitations (panic attacks) that he mistakenly believes are his heart failing. It brings him to believe that he has the same disease as his father. He goes to the doctor numerous times because no matter what they say he is sure he has it and they keep happening even though his life was something he was happy with (at least that was my take on it). He continues to have them until he prays, he receives a call from a specialists that everything is okay that he doesn't have what his father had.
At this point the MC decides to take a closer look into the church and the bible after attending a gathering at a church. At first he hides his interest in the bible and his church meetings from the two who he is in a relationship with. He starts bringing up small things to indicate his new found belief in god, probably to test the waters of his new found belief. He is met with the reactions he probably expected, disbelief, scoffing, and "what have you done with the man I know". He laughs it off, but this is probably the turning point. His new found belief and his current life can not live hand in hand is probably the conclusion he has reached. The conclusion is only later reinforced after he leaves his boyfriends and goes on a meditation retreat in which he sleeps with a different man. This man is not willing to talk with him about his new belief in god, he isn't willing to listen to him and leaves him. He meets with a women who says that his beliefs (christian ones, is what he takes it as) and him being at the magazine can not exist symbiotically and asks him to leave. His old life has abandoned him (even though he left some of it on his own, though in his mind they probably abandoned him first).
Then we come to his journey to going to bible school. He meets people, who are open and friendly. They have the same thoughts and ideas. If he was still was wavering if he made the right choice to give up his gay identity, they were probably abolished.
In my opinion someone with a personality portrayed in the movie would make such a decision. Whether he likes men or not. Giving up one thing, to serve your higher purpose is not that different then a nun or a priest who decide to be celibate. While others would probably say something else. People deny themselves all the time because in my opinion people love to suffer. Though there are those who want to believe their suffering for a higher purpose where as others believe that life is about suffering.
It is my belief there are people who need religion and all that it promises keeps them same. I read a book called the "Game Changer" recently. The main villain had the means to wipe out the religious centers in peoples in brains through the use of small nanobots and a virus. Some of the characters thought "that's fine, it won't change much". The neuroscientist drew a different conclusion. That people need religion. This is something that I thought for awhile. In college after taking a bunch of classes the thought was only cemented. There are too many religions in the world for it not to be true. People join cults and are lead to do things that is usually not something they would do if not surrounded by others with the same beliefs. Some people need relegion more than others. Faced with mortality, sickness, permenant disability, or hardships it is a comfort to believe there is a higher purpose. That your suffering is not in vain.
I am mostly jealous of these people who can believe something so absolutely. At the same time I find it hard to empathize with such a people. I have not found god or had any revelations. Sorry about the tangent.
I thought that this would be better served as a book. Watching a movie about it the audience is left snoozing a bit. It's very slow going, there is no extra drama for entertainment purposes. A book would have been able to provide insight into characters head. The struggles they are going through. Which are all internal. The movie doesn't do a very good job of showing these internal struggles, they only show the outward result of the internal struggle. Leaving the audience with just the filling and no crust.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Fashion King (TV SERIES) Review
So I started by watching this drama because I was looking for something to watch and read something to the affect "Fashion King, worst kdrama ever, worst ending ever". I wouldn't say it was the worst I have seen. The acting wasn't necessarily bad. The writer though it seemed he was writing on the fly, with only a rough idea of where he was going.
There must have been some big hopes for this drama, they filmed in big places, and they had a cast with some names in it.
I have no idea why people wanted Young-gul to be together with the main girl. To be honest, I didn't even know he liked her as in romantically. I really thought some of his feelings were from when he met her as a kid. Also I though he thought of her as his sister. I didn't realize he actually had true feelings until he is making the birthday card. Even then I kind of thought he might just have this weird ownership feeling, that he thought he owed her due to the fact he met her when she was young as well when she helped him back in New York and afterwards.
Another reason why Young-gul sucks, is that yeah he has a sob story. Who cares? Does that mean you should be angry at the world? She would have followed him to the end of the world, but there is only so much a person can take of being pushed away. I doubt she heard the gun shot, I am sure it was suppose to be a silencer, after all he was murdered what hit man goes without one.
He was revenge driven, while the other guy he was driven more by love or business. Yes sticking it to Young-gul was some of it but it wasn't a motivating factor.
In the end he got what he wanted. Money and to see her get as cool as An na. He also lost her after realizing his feelings, because he dug himself into deep and was unwilling to let go of his pride. Whereas we see hyuk's character has mostly discarded that shit when it comes to her.
I was actually rooting for the other guy. To be honest I am glad he isn't really working for his dad anymore or is working in another office.
The end scene. Well to be honest it was shot really great. I can see why people are pissed. Though if I have to say something I feel like it was pretty fitting. I don't see where else this could have gone. How many times was he suppose to scrap out from the bottom. I think Nice Guy should have ended with him lying on the street, but it probably made everyone feel all great inside to see the HEA. However, life isn't a HEA at all. I think he should have drowned in the pool. I wouldn't have been surprised if he hired the person to kill himself.
There must have been some big hopes for this drama, they filmed in big places, and they had a cast with some names in it.
I have no idea why people wanted Young-gul to be together with the main girl. To be honest, I didn't even know he liked her as in romantically. I really thought some of his feelings were from when he met her as a kid. Also I though he thought of her as his sister. I didn't realize he actually had true feelings until he is making the birthday card. Even then I kind of thought he might just have this weird ownership feeling, that he thought he owed her due to the fact he met her when she was young as well when she helped him back in New York and afterwards.
Another reason why Young-gul sucks, is that yeah he has a sob story. Who cares? Does that mean you should be angry at the world? She would have followed him to the end of the world, but there is only so much a person can take of being pushed away. I doubt she heard the gun shot, I am sure it was suppose to be a silencer, after all he was murdered what hit man goes without one.
He was revenge driven, while the other guy he was driven more by love or business. Yes sticking it to Young-gul was some of it but it wasn't a motivating factor.
In the end he got what he wanted. Money and to see her get as cool as An na. He also lost her after realizing his feelings, because he dug himself into deep and was unwilling to let go of his pride. Whereas we see hyuk's character has mostly discarded that shit when it comes to her.
I was actually rooting for the other guy. To be honest I am glad he isn't really working for his dad anymore or is working in another office.
The end scene. Well to be honest it was shot really great. I can see why people are pissed. Though if I have to say something I feel like it was pretty fitting. I don't see where else this could have gone. How many times was he suppose to scrap out from the bottom. I think Nice Guy should have ended with him lying on the street, but it probably made everyone feel all great inside to see the HEA. However, life isn't a HEA at all. I think he should have drowned in the pool. I wouldn't have been surprised if he hired the person to kill himself.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Why life is hard.
1. You don't get to pick who your parents are and you have to grow up even if you never had the chance to do it while you were actually growing up.
2. There are certain people that you wish you never met and can never like.
3. You cant control people and you can't change their mind if they don't want to.
4. Living is hard, dying is easy.
5. Even though you are the center of your universe you are not the center of anyone else's universe. I know some people may differ with me on this. In the end if you are suffocating in a fire, if you rescue your wife daughter, husband, son before yourself you are rescuing them on the fact of what they indeed mean to you. Thus being you are still the center of your own universe because I bet that loved one wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself in order to save them.
6. Life is full of regrets, and the best way to understand that, is that you will fail and you do not have the ability to predict the future. If you live your life without wanting to regret things, that might be your biggest regret in life.
7. Knowing the right thing to do is not always the same as what you should do or are going to do.
8. Sex feels good but STD's, clean up, preparation are not so feel good things.
9. There will always be judgmental people, people who believe in stereotypes, and people who grew up in rigid or less worldly environments. This doesn't make them bad people it just makes them people.
10. Do things for yourself and not for other people. In the end you are the person who has to sleep with the decisions you made for yourself everyday. Unless you were mind controlled by some mysterious technological device not yet announced than own your decisions and don't blame them on others. I know it's hard.
I am sure I am missing stuff. I wrote this down, as an attempt to bolster myself and take an inventory on my own beliefs currently. I sometimes feel like I think to much. I would call myself an impulsive person. Though I know I am not. I have ran through every scenario in my head before I engage in things. Even when I study. I think though I say I am impulsive because people call me it. It's amazing how people can trick themselves into believing things even though they are not true, because other people have observed behaviors and have told said person about it.
2. There are certain people that you wish you never met and can never like.
3. You cant control people and you can't change their mind if they don't want to.
4. Living is hard, dying is easy.
5. Even though you are the center of your universe you are not the center of anyone else's universe. I know some people may differ with me on this. In the end if you are suffocating in a fire, if you rescue your wife daughter, husband, son before yourself you are rescuing them on the fact of what they indeed mean to you. Thus being you are still the center of your own universe because I bet that loved one wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself in order to save them.
6. Life is full of regrets, and the best way to understand that, is that you will fail and you do not have the ability to predict the future. If you live your life without wanting to regret things, that might be your biggest regret in life.
7. Knowing the right thing to do is not always the same as what you should do or are going to do.
8. Sex feels good but STD's, clean up, preparation are not so feel good things.
9. There will always be judgmental people, people who believe in stereotypes, and people who grew up in rigid or less worldly environments. This doesn't make them bad people it just makes them people.
10. Do things for yourself and not for other people. In the end you are the person who has to sleep with the decisions you made for yourself everyday. Unless you were mind controlled by some mysterious technological device not yet announced than own your decisions and don't blame them on others. I know it's hard.
I am sure I am missing stuff. I wrote this down, as an attempt to bolster myself and take an inventory on my own beliefs currently. I sometimes feel like I think to much. I would call myself an impulsive person. Though I know I am not. I have ran through every scenario in my head before I engage in things. Even when I study. I think though I say I am impulsive because people call me it. It's amazing how people can trick themselves into believing things even though they are not true, because other people have observed behaviors and have told said person about it.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
DAOC
I was watching videos of 8v8 again and it made me want to write a post about why this game is the best MMO of all time for me. Games I have played WOW, EQ (3 days lol), GW, Warhammer, Rift, APB, LOL, and probably some I am forgetting.
So I typed into google search and it was interesting reading people's posts about DAOC, especially people that tried it (and hated it) or have not played it but have met people that have played DAOC and than they meet the fanboys of DAOC.
So I will start by saying DAOC was the best and the most fun I have ever had in game. Also the most addicting. I am not sure how many times I deactivated only to reactivate again. I did not start in old fronteirs, at all. Other than what people have told me I do not know about severe lag issues, classes that were extremely overpowered etc.
3 Realms
This was great because every realm had classes that were specific to the realm. Meaning if you think this class is overpowered, well make one and play it. In WOW, all classes were the same on both realms. I do not have an issue with this, I am just saying it provided more options and made you think more in PVP on how to deal with classes that were not available on your realm.
Learning Curve
Well you could say either it is large depending on the player you are and there are some who will never make it up the curve. But, it genrally is okay if they don't they can still have fun. There is PVP for everyone. The people who are loners that like to play solo, people who like to be in groups, and people that just like to play with lots of other people and kill people randomly. I will compare this to WOW. I rolled on "Blackrock" because I wanted to PVP and I thought a pvp server was the best way to go. To be honest there is not open world PVP on WOW. If you find someone you want to fight in open world, chances are they will run if they can. While there is nothing wrong with this, it brings up another point for me. It is hard in WOW to find 2 other people or another person to go through and get more arnea points. In DAOC the learning curve happens when you go out and PVP. In WOW it happens in an instance, where you get matched up with people. Meaning it is more of a linear type of learning. In DAOC it is more of a all over the place learning curve.
The new player probably starts out in zerg of people (more than 8 but usually around 2 full groups). There you can learn to play your character, while this might sound weird...to people in other games it is not in DAOC since PVPing is different than PVEing and has little or nothing to do with each other. Learning to pan your camera, kite, what you are weak too, what you are good at killing, or if you are support how to heal/position and not be interrupted. In PVE you are not doing any of these things except casting spells and killing mobs. Than you might decide zerging with 16 plus people is just not for you and sharing those points with others sucks as well. You might solo or just go with one group. I have to admit i was indeed a zerger at the begining and I got rr11 just from zerging on my first character.
Back to the PVP in WOW vs DAOC. In DAOC if you think you are good and you call out another person for being bad, well you can fight it out. In WOW you can't well, you can I guess if you are the same rank. WOW you have to be the same rank, and the person in WOW with more arena points can point to their points and be like"well I am already better than you". End of discussion. This brings up another point that I saw on the forums. DAOC is full of elitism. I have to agree. When the end game is killing each other and there is no gear (to make me say well I have this item thus I am better) and there is not arnea point system to point to. While there are realm points which you gain for killing people in which you get realm rank that you can spend to get abilities, these are a toss up and does not make the playing field uneven. In WOW it would, since the person with more arena points would get more items etc.
In DAOC without these two things, you only have elitism to prove you are better and the skill to prove that you aren't just a bag of hot air. So while people can call people that have played DAOC elitist, they are like that because of the game. You have to back it up if your gonna talk crap to other players. In WOW I think it is rather obvious, why the community is so lacking in it's elitism, and it's because everything is so succinct. People know where they stand in WOW, all they have to do is look up someones character and its the end of discussion. Communities in WOW are limited to guild members and friends in game. People know other people in DAOC even if you have never played with them. It is also players and not the guild. When people say DAOC is a skill based game, well it is in my opinion. Not saying other games aren't because there is skill involved to get at the highest level of every end game in every game. The skill level means more in game and on daily basis in the game. While you might be in an awesome raiding guild that completes things fast in WOW, your guild might be known, but "you" as individual are not.
End Game PVP
The end game is what was the best about this game. I can see if people wanted to PVE than they would hate this game. As this game focuses on killing people. Basically you level 50 make a template (which is your gear, the reason why it is called a template is because you have to craft items to make sure that you have max stats).
well publishing dont know if it makes sense, who cares no one reads this
So I typed into google search and it was interesting reading people's posts about DAOC, especially people that tried it (and hated it) or have not played it but have met people that have played DAOC and than they meet the fanboys of DAOC.
So I will start by saying DAOC was the best and the most fun I have ever had in game. Also the most addicting. I am not sure how many times I deactivated only to reactivate again. I did not start in old fronteirs, at all. Other than what people have told me I do not know about severe lag issues, classes that were extremely overpowered etc.
3 Realms
This was great because every realm had classes that were specific to the realm. Meaning if you think this class is overpowered, well make one and play it. In WOW, all classes were the same on both realms. I do not have an issue with this, I am just saying it provided more options and made you think more in PVP on how to deal with classes that were not available on your realm.
Learning Curve
Well you could say either it is large depending on the player you are and there are some who will never make it up the curve. But, it genrally is okay if they don't they can still have fun. There is PVP for everyone. The people who are loners that like to play solo, people who like to be in groups, and people that just like to play with lots of other people and kill people randomly. I will compare this to WOW. I rolled on "Blackrock" because I wanted to PVP and I thought a pvp server was the best way to go. To be honest there is not open world PVP on WOW. If you find someone you want to fight in open world, chances are they will run if they can. While there is nothing wrong with this, it brings up another point for me. It is hard in WOW to find 2 other people or another person to go through and get more arnea points. In DAOC the learning curve happens when you go out and PVP. In WOW it happens in an instance, where you get matched up with people. Meaning it is more of a linear type of learning. In DAOC it is more of a all over the place learning curve.
The new player probably starts out in zerg of people (more than 8 but usually around 2 full groups). There you can learn to play your character, while this might sound weird...to people in other games it is not in DAOC since PVPing is different than PVEing and has little or nothing to do with each other. Learning to pan your camera, kite, what you are weak too, what you are good at killing, or if you are support how to heal/position and not be interrupted. In PVE you are not doing any of these things except casting spells and killing mobs. Than you might decide zerging with 16 plus people is just not for you and sharing those points with others sucks as well. You might solo or just go with one group. I have to admit i was indeed a zerger at the begining and I got rr11 just from zerging on my first character.
Back to the PVP in WOW vs DAOC. In DAOC if you think you are good and you call out another person for being bad, well you can fight it out. In WOW you can't well, you can I guess if you are the same rank. WOW you have to be the same rank, and the person in WOW with more arena points can point to their points and be like"well I am already better than you". End of discussion. This brings up another point that I saw on the forums. DAOC is full of elitism. I have to agree. When the end game is killing each other and there is no gear (to make me say well I have this item thus I am better) and there is not arnea point system to point to. While there are realm points which you gain for killing people in which you get realm rank that you can spend to get abilities, these are a toss up and does not make the playing field uneven. In WOW it would, since the person with more arena points would get more items etc.
In DAOC without these two things, you only have elitism to prove you are better and the skill to prove that you aren't just a bag of hot air. So while people can call people that have played DAOC elitist, they are like that because of the game. You have to back it up if your gonna talk crap to other players. In WOW I think it is rather obvious, why the community is so lacking in it's elitism, and it's because everything is so succinct. People know where they stand in WOW, all they have to do is look up someones character and its the end of discussion. Communities in WOW are limited to guild members and friends in game. People know other people in DAOC even if you have never played with them. It is also players and not the guild. When people say DAOC is a skill based game, well it is in my opinion. Not saying other games aren't because there is skill involved to get at the highest level of every end game in every game. The skill level means more in game and on daily basis in the game. While you might be in an awesome raiding guild that completes things fast in WOW, your guild might be known, but "you" as individual are not.
End Game PVP
The end game is what was the best about this game. I can see if people wanted to PVE than they would hate this game. As this game focuses on killing people. Basically you level 50 make a template (which is your gear, the reason why it is called a template is because you have to craft items to make sure that you have max stats).
well publishing dont know if it makes sense, who cares no one reads this
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Gay for pay
Everyone has an opinion on this. I remember watching some talk show (Tyra?) a long time ago and then a news story where this porn actor who has a girlfriend and a kid who said he was straight but also did gay porn. I just remember thinking they are either Bi or gay. How can a man get hard to do it, if they are not at least a bit attracted? I can admit that I was quite wrong.
Why?
1. Well because I honestly believe that everyone has a price. For instance if someone had a gun to your child and told you to engage in a sexual act with a person that was not your preferred sex, I think alot of people would say, yes. While no one is holding a gun to their kids head I can use many analogies. For instance it can merely be that it is good money. It wouldn't be the first time someone gets aroused from an inanimate object and it will not be the last.
2. People engage in sexual acts with the other sex all the time without having any attraction to them. Why? Well maybe they are curious and want to try it out. Maybe they are bigger risk takers than you are. Maybe they just like to feel good. Sex releases a lot of hormones, so it doesn't seem far fetched if a guy is comfortable with their sexuality that they wouldn't than engage in acts of the opposite of the orientation if there wasn't a girl around. After all I have met very few gay guys that can say "I have never done anything of a sexual nature with a girl". It doesn't mean anything.
3. I think there might be a double standard here. I do not think anyone would question a women porn star that engages in sexual acts with another women, if they were to say I am straight. But a guy has sex with another guy and gets hard, well people think this guy is obviously bisexual or gay. It is obviously because they get an erection. At the same time this is the thing if you are doing pleasurable things that turn you on, wouldn't you get aroused? It is a physiological reaction. It means nothing, in my opinion.
In the end, I can see how it ruins the fantasy for people. It would say it would be the same for me as well. However, probably if I had never seen that show or the news about it, I would not even care. Maybe some people though are hardcore fans, that buy personal items or buy products endorsed by them. I am not sure I could ever be a fan of anyone to that extent so I am not sure how they feel. My favorite actors, actresses, music artists I could care less what they do in their personal life. An actor does heroin, and he is considered a bad role model by the media. However, did the actor sign up to be a role model? he signed up to act. Perhaps porn is a bit different since it might seem more personal since they are having sex on camera, but it isn't. You probably paid to watch it, and someone paid them to be in it. Their personal lives should not have to scrutinized for it. In the time of social media boom, I am not sure if I would ever agree to be a public figure. I do not want anyone to know about me.
Why?
1. Well because I honestly believe that everyone has a price. For instance if someone had a gun to your child and told you to engage in a sexual act with a person that was not your preferred sex, I think alot of people would say, yes. While no one is holding a gun to their kids head I can use many analogies. For instance it can merely be that it is good money. It wouldn't be the first time someone gets aroused from an inanimate object and it will not be the last.
2. People engage in sexual acts with the other sex all the time without having any attraction to them. Why? Well maybe they are curious and want to try it out. Maybe they are bigger risk takers than you are. Maybe they just like to feel good. Sex releases a lot of hormones, so it doesn't seem far fetched if a guy is comfortable with their sexuality that they wouldn't than engage in acts of the opposite of the orientation if there wasn't a girl around. After all I have met very few gay guys that can say "I have never done anything of a sexual nature with a girl". It doesn't mean anything.
3. I think there might be a double standard here. I do not think anyone would question a women porn star that engages in sexual acts with another women, if they were to say I am straight. But a guy has sex with another guy and gets hard, well people think this guy is obviously bisexual or gay. It is obviously because they get an erection. At the same time this is the thing if you are doing pleasurable things that turn you on, wouldn't you get aroused? It is a physiological reaction. It means nothing, in my opinion.
In the end, I can see how it ruins the fantasy for people. It would say it would be the same for me as well. However, probably if I had never seen that show or the news about it, I would not even care. Maybe some people though are hardcore fans, that buy personal items or buy products endorsed by them. I am not sure I could ever be a fan of anyone to that extent so I am not sure how they feel. My favorite actors, actresses, music artists I could care less what they do in their personal life. An actor does heroin, and he is considered a bad role model by the media. However, did the actor sign up to be a role model? he signed up to act. Perhaps porn is a bit different since it might seem more personal since they are having sex on camera, but it isn't. You probably paid to watch it, and someone paid them to be in it. Their personal lives should not have to scrutinized for it. In the time of social media boom, I am not sure if I would ever agree to be a public figure. I do not want anyone to know about me.
Smartphones
So I do not have a smartphone. In an age where everyone has one of these including my boyfriends parents and my mom, I feel the need to be stubborn, retro, and cool and refuse to get one. However I have recently gotten many complaints from friends and family that I do not return text messages (this is because I hate this feature on phones, I am pretty sure you can't buy a phone without it) and I do not return phone calls.
So I was thinking since people seem so attached to their phones now that they have smartphones, maybe I would feel the same way?
Let's work this out using a pros and cons list.
Pro
1. I might be attached to my phone if I end up having a smart phone.
2. I might actually keep my phone charged, instead of forgetting about it until I need to make a phone call, and then returning everyones phone calls a week later.
3. I can like do stuff on there? What is it? ok guys I looked it up twitter, instagram, facebook updates, apps for stuff like weather and news blah blah.
4. Oh, I can check my email on the go...and browse all the websites I browse on my ipad and desktop.
5. Oh I will be able to take random photos...that might be fun.
Con
1. Well data plans are expensive
2. People will contact me and than I will be forced to respond back....
3. I will have to update meaningless junk because I no longer have an excuse.
4. Smartphones are bigger than my current phone, and it won't fit in my pocket.
5. Umm I hate social networking sites, the thought of updating them makes me want to throw up
That's about it. Yeah I duno same amount on both sides. This exercise did not help at all.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Valentine's Day
To be honest I kind of detest holidays, except for Thanksgiving and that is only because it involves eating turkey and stuffing. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 years. This is a long time, even I realize that. We have celebrated Valentine's day a total number of 2 times in our 9 years.
The first year we started dating. we celebrated Valentine's day like this. I had stayed over in his dorm room while he was in class because he only had one class that day and would be back in 2 hours. When he came back he had a rose in his hand. Being the first year of our relationship, I thought it was cute since he knew I didn't like flowers or Valentine's day. When I said "thank you, happy valentine's day", he said "it's Valentine's day?, they were passing out these fake flowers on campus and I couldn't tell her 'no' so, I brought it home to you". We both laughed after that, I gave him a blow job and we took a nap.
Now this year was a bit different. He calls me at 7:30 at night, and says I locked my keys in my car, I'll be late, I am at the grocery store. Already I knew he got me something. Number 1 my boyfriend never goes to the grocery store himself. Number 2 if he ever got me something on a holiday it would definitely be on the day of or a month later. Anyways he comes home, its been snowing all day, and he grabs his spare set, and walks back and drives home. He got me a stalk of lilies, blueberry muffins, and sunflower seeds. It was definitely sweet. While I think it is very sweet, it made me think what I thought of romance was. I can honestly say its a blow job and a I love you. Even though I do these on a frequent basis, I duno I am pretty sure I shouldn't have to change because it's some random holiday or anniversary.
This made me think...girls have to be less romantic than guys right? Or is it just me? My idea of romantic is hotter sex than normal and I love you. I don't know why? I don't think I am in the minority here either. After all I am pretty sure girls always buy lingerie for themselves...and have sex....so here is my light bulb moment. Guys have to be the romantic ones...in my opinion and people have been fed this extra BS that we need extra sweet moments on these BS special days. What my boyfriend did on Valentine's day, is something he does alot...he brings me home dinner or something he knows I have been wanting to eat for awhile minus the flower. I think it is so much sweeter than on a holiday. Why is that? Well it means they didn't need a holiday to think about you or need an excuse to do something nice for you either.
That's the end!
JK.
My mom died. Hmm...my emotionless on her passing has continued for two days. It has not changed. I thought that after she died, that I would feel something. There is nothing there, not even numbness. More like nothing. My boyfriend keeps asking me if "i'm okay" to be perfectly honest, I am. I feel relieved. My first thought actually was, I have to reschedule with my partners that I am working with on a project with. My friend said I need a therapist. I am kind of worried. While I understand there might be an acceptance of death period. I have already accepted it. Maybe though it's superficial. Duno. Will write after the funeral. Maybe I will feel something than.
The first year we started dating. we celebrated Valentine's day like this. I had stayed over in his dorm room while he was in class because he only had one class that day and would be back in 2 hours. When he came back he had a rose in his hand. Being the first year of our relationship, I thought it was cute since he knew I didn't like flowers or Valentine's day. When I said "thank you, happy valentine's day", he said "it's Valentine's day?, they were passing out these fake flowers on campus and I couldn't tell her 'no' so, I brought it home to you". We both laughed after that, I gave him a blow job and we took a nap.
Now this year was a bit different. He calls me at 7:30 at night, and says I locked my keys in my car, I'll be late, I am at the grocery store. Already I knew he got me something. Number 1 my boyfriend never goes to the grocery store himself. Number 2 if he ever got me something on a holiday it would definitely be on the day of or a month later. Anyways he comes home, its been snowing all day, and he grabs his spare set, and walks back and drives home. He got me a stalk of lilies, blueberry muffins, and sunflower seeds. It was definitely sweet. While I think it is very sweet, it made me think what I thought of romance was. I can honestly say its a blow job and a I love you. Even though I do these on a frequent basis, I duno I am pretty sure I shouldn't have to change because it's some random holiday or anniversary.
This made me think...girls have to be less romantic than guys right? Or is it just me? My idea of romantic is hotter sex than normal and I love you. I don't know why? I don't think I am in the minority here either. After all I am pretty sure girls always buy lingerie for themselves...and have sex....so here is my light bulb moment. Guys have to be the romantic ones...in my opinion and people have been fed this extra BS that we need extra sweet moments on these BS special days. What my boyfriend did on Valentine's day, is something he does alot...he brings me home dinner or something he knows I have been wanting to eat for awhile minus the flower. I think it is so much sweeter than on a holiday. Why is that? Well it means they didn't need a holiday to think about you or need an excuse to do something nice for you either.
That's the end!
JK.
My mom died. Hmm...my emotionless on her passing has continued for two days. It has not changed. I thought that after she died, that I would feel something. There is nothing there, not even numbness. More like nothing. My boyfriend keeps asking me if "i'm okay" to be perfectly honest, I am. I feel relieved. My first thought actually was, I have to reschedule with my partners that I am working with on a project with. My friend said I need a therapist. I am kind of worried. While I understand there might be an acceptance of death period. I have already accepted it. Maybe though it's superficial. Duno. Will write after the funeral. Maybe I will feel something than.
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