Everyone has an opinion on this. I remember watching some talk show (Tyra?) a long time ago and then a news story where this porn actor who has a girlfriend and a kid who said he was straight but also did gay porn. I just remember thinking they are either Bi or gay. How can a man get hard to do it, if they are not at least a bit attracted? I can admit that I was quite wrong.
Why?
1. Well because I honestly believe that everyone has a price. For instance if someone had a gun to your child and told you to engage in a sexual act with a person that was not your preferred sex, I think alot of people would say, yes. While no one is holding a gun to their kids head I can use many analogies. For instance it can merely be that it is good money. It wouldn't be the first time someone gets aroused from an inanimate object and it will not be the last.
2. People engage in sexual acts with the other sex all the time without having any attraction to them. Why? Well maybe they are curious and want to try it out. Maybe they are bigger risk takers than you are. Maybe they just like to feel good. Sex releases a lot of hormones, so it doesn't seem far fetched if a guy is comfortable with their sexuality that they wouldn't than engage in acts of the opposite of the orientation if there wasn't a girl around. After all I have met very few gay guys that can say "I have never done anything of a sexual nature with a girl". It doesn't mean anything.
3. I think there might be a double standard here. I do not think anyone would question a women porn star that engages in sexual acts with another women, if they were to say I am straight. But a guy has sex with another guy and gets hard, well people think this guy is obviously bisexual or gay. It is obviously because they get an erection. At the same time this is the thing if you are doing pleasurable things that turn you on, wouldn't you get aroused? It is a physiological reaction. It means nothing, in my opinion.
In the end, I can see how it ruins the fantasy for people. It would say it would be the same for me as well. However, probably if I had never seen that show or the news about it, I would not even care. Maybe some people though are hardcore fans, that buy personal items or buy products endorsed by them. I am not sure I could ever be a fan of anyone to that extent so I am not sure how they feel. My favorite actors, actresses, music artists I could care less what they do in their personal life. An actor does heroin, and he is considered a bad role model by the media. However, did the actor sign up to be a role model? he signed up to act. Perhaps porn is a bit different since it might seem more personal since they are having sex on camera, but it isn't. You probably paid to watch it, and someone paid them to be in it. Their personal lives should not have to scrutinized for it. In the time of social media boom, I am not sure if I would ever agree to be a public figure. I do not want anyone to know about me.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Smartphones
So I do not have a smartphone. In an age where everyone has one of these including my boyfriends parents and my mom, I feel the need to be stubborn, retro, and cool and refuse to get one. However I have recently gotten many complaints from friends and family that I do not return text messages (this is because I hate this feature on phones, I am pretty sure you can't buy a phone without it) and I do not return phone calls.
So I was thinking since people seem so attached to their phones now that they have smartphones, maybe I would feel the same way?
Let's work this out using a pros and cons list.
Pro
1. I might be attached to my phone if I end up having a smart phone.
2. I might actually keep my phone charged, instead of forgetting about it until I need to make a phone call, and then returning everyones phone calls a week later.
3. I can like do stuff on there? What is it? ok guys I looked it up twitter, instagram, facebook updates, apps for stuff like weather and news blah blah.
4. Oh, I can check my email on the go...and browse all the websites I browse on my ipad and desktop.
5. Oh I will be able to take random photos...that might be fun.
Con
1. Well data plans are expensive
2. People will contact me and than I will be forced to respond back....
3. I will have to update meaningless junk because I no longer have an excuse.
4. Smartphones are bigger than my current phone, and it won't fit in my pocket.
5. Umm I hate social networking sites, the thought of updating them makes me want to throw up
That's about it. Yeah I duno same amount on both sides. This exercise did not help at all.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Valentine's Day
To be honest I kind of detest holidays, except for Thanksgiving and that is only because it involves eating turkey and stuffing. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 years. This is a long time, even I realize that. We have celebrated Valentine's day a total number of 2 times in our 9 years.
The first year we started dating. we celebrated Valentine's day like this. I had stayed over in his dorm room while he was in class because he only had one class that day and would be back in 2 hours. When he came back he had a rose in his hand. Being the first year of our relationship, I thought it was cute since he knew I didn't like flowers or Valentine's day. When I said "thank you, happy valentine's day", he said "it's Valentine's day?, they were passing out these fake flowers on campus and I couldn't tell her 'no' so, I brought it home to you". We both laughed after that, I gave him a blow job and we took a nap.
Now this year was a bit different. He calls me at 7:30 at night, and says I locked my keys in my car, I'll be late, I am at the grocery store. Already I knew he got me something. Number 1 my boyfriend never goes to the grocery store himself. Number 2 if he ever got me something on a holiday it would definitely be on the day of or a month later. Anyways he comes home, its been snowing all day, and he grabs his spare set, and walks back and drives home. He got me a stalk of lilies, blueberry muffins, and sunflower seeds. It was definitely sweet. While I think it is very sweet, it made me think what I thought of romance was. I can honestly say its a blow job and a I love you. Even though I do these on a frequent basis, I duno I am pretty sure I shouldn't have to change because it's some random holiday or anniversary.
This made me think...girls have to be less romantic than guys right? Or is it just me? My idea of romantic is hotter sex than normal and I love you. I don't know why? I don't think I am in the minority here either. After all I am pretty sure girls always buy lingerie for themselves...and have sex....so here is my light bulb moment. Guys have to be the romantic ones...in my opinion and people have been fed this extra BS that we need extra sweet moments on these BS special days. What my boyfriend did on Valentine's day, is something he does alot...he brings me home dinner or something he knows I have been wanting to eat for awhile minus the flower. I think it is so much sweeter than on a holiday. Why is that? Well it means they didn't need a holiday to think about you or need an excuse to do something nice for you either.
That's the end!
JK.
My mom died. Hmm...my emotionless on her passing has continued for two days. It has not changed. I thought that after she died, that I would feel something. There is nothing there, not even numbness. More like nothing. My boyfriend keeps asking me if "i'm okay" to be perfectly honest, I am. I feel relieved. My first thought actually was, I have to reschedule with my partners that I am working with on a project with. My friend said I need a therapist. I am kind of worried. While I understand there might be an acceptance of death period. I have already accepted it. Maybe though it's superficial. Duno. Will write after the funeral. Maybe I will feel something than.
The first year we started dating. we celebrated Valentine's day like this. I had stayed over in his dorm room while he was in class because he only had one class that day and would be back in 2 hours. When he came back he had a rose in his hand. Being the first year of our relationship, I thought it was cute since he knew I didn't like flowers or Valentine's day. When I said "thank you, happy valentine's day", he said "it's Valentine's day?, they were passing out these fake flowers on campus and I couldn't tell her 'no' so, I brought it home to you". We both laughed after that, I gave him a blow job and we took a nap.
Now this year was a bit different. He calls me at 7:30 at night, and says I locked my keys in my car, I'll be late, I am at the grocery store. Already I knew he got me something. Number 1 my boyfriend never goes to the grocery store himself. Number 2 if he ever got me something on a holiday it would definitely be on the day of or a month later. Anyways he comes home, its been snowing all day, and he grabs his spare set, and walks back and drives home. He got me a stalk of lilies, blueberry muffins, and sunflower seeds. It was definitely sweet. While I think it is very sweet, it made me think what I thought of romance was. I can honestly say its a blow job and a I love you. Even though I do these on a frequent basis, I duno I am pretty sure I shouldn't have to change because it's some random holiday or anniversary.
This made me think...girls have to be less romantic than guys right? Or is it just me? My idea of romantic is hotter sex than normal and I love you. I don't know why? I don't think I am in the minority here either. After all I am pretty sure girls always buy lingerie for themselves...and have sex....so here is my light bulb moment. Guys have to be the romantic ones...in my opinion and people have been fed this extra BS that we need extra sweet moments on these BS special days. What my boyfriend did on Valentine's day, is something he does alot...he brings me home dinner or something he knows I have been wanting to eat for awhile minus the flower. I think it is so much sweeter than on a holiday. Why is that? Well it means they didn't need a holiday to think about you or need an excuse to do something nice for you either.
That's the end!
JK.
My mom died. Hmm...my emotionless on her passing has continued for two days. It has not changed. I thought that after she died, that I would feel something. There is nothing there, not even numbness. More like nothing. My boyfriend keeps asking me if "i'm okay" to be perfectly honest, I am. I feel relieved. My first thought actually was, I have to reschedule with my partners that I am working with on a project with. My friend said I need a therapist. I am kind of worried. While I understand there might be an acceptance of death period. I have already accepted it. Maybe though it's superficial. Duno. Will write after the funeral. Maybe I will feel something than.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
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